Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Terrorists on monkey bars

*** By DB (Chicago) ***
It has become apparent that the War on Infidels will ultimately be won on the jungle gym. All al Qaeda recruits undergo extensive physical training on monkey bar obstacle courses set up in the middle of the desert. Maybe someone mistranslated "guerrilla warfare" when they wrote the al Qaeda training manual. Countless media reports over the past five years have incessantly featured stock video footage depicting this grueling military-style training regimen, instilling fear in the sedentary middle-aged couch potato purveyors of 24-hour cable news networks. I, myself, was invited to the playground recently, but fear of these Jihadist badasses in black ninja suits forced me to take a raincheck. There have also been unconfirmed reports of even more heinous al Qaeda recruit training methods not yet caught on grainy video tape, such as ball pit training and inflatable trampolines drills. Look out, U.S. Special Forces.

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