What's on TV?

INDIA: Since I've become such an expert doer of nothing and watcher of TV the past 10 days, I might as well report back on these most substantial of activities. So if you're dying to know what's on TV here in India (or what I’m watching anyway), I’d be most happy to fill you in.

Madhuri Dixit (above) - She's all over the telly doing press for her new movie. As you may know she was the biggest Bollywood actress of the 90s. She got married eight years ago to an Indian-American surgeon and now lives in Denver with the doc and their two kids. Now she's back in 'Aaja Nachle', a movie that released on Friday to so-so reviews. It's been in the news because a few states wanted to ban it owing to a few apparently offensive lyrics and of course because it stars Madhuri, who's back at 40-something and still gorgeous. She's in India for just 20 days to do press.

Cricket - India's playing Pakistan, and I've been watching a little. It's kind of fun, but I admit it’s also because some of the players are cute.

Telugu serials – Unlike in the US even nighttime shows comes on every weeknight instead of once a week. From what I can tell it's all about rape, in-laws, pious women, evil women and, oh yeah, a couple of guys. My grandmother watches for more than four hours a day, so I can't help but catch a little of the fare.

Shah Rukh Khan (right) - King Khan, as he's called, is still the biggest actor in Bollywood. He's in all the fricking commercials (Tag Heuer, cellphones, cars), so you can't escape him on TV either. It's annoying, but then I've never been a huge fan. By the way he's crazy ripped now with six-pack abs and all. I can't figure out how he did it. Steroids? Or maybe it's the supermodel triple cocktail of cocaine, cigarettes and anorexia? Hmm.